A few years back, a friend and I were going out to dinner. I met him at his place and had a glass of red wine. We then went to a Mexican restaurant near his home. I typically don’t drink liquor anymore, but that night I was craving a margarita. Drinking a margarita after a glass of red wine was not the best choice. I forgot the old warning: wine before liquor makes you sick quicker. It made me sick enough that I couldn’t eat my dinner, and I love Mexican food.
Fast forward to September of this year. I went on a road trip to Phoenix with friends to see Pat Benatar. My friends were drinking beer. I do not drink beer. It makes me full and sluggish. I brought some red wine, and on the drive up I had the equivalent of a medium sized glass. When we got to Phoenix we went to a Mexican restaurant. You can probably see where this is going. I wanted a margarita. What happened the last time I mixed red wine with a margarita went through my head, but I thought eh, that was a fluke. It was not.
One glass of wine and one normal sized margarita and by the time we got to the venue I was wasted. It felt like I had chugged a gallon of wine. While attempting to walk to my seat I tripped on a chair and fell really hard on the chairs and then the floor. I got up and wobbled to my seat where I continued to feel worse. When my friends got to our seats I told them I didn’t feel good and they called the EMTs over. A friend and an EMT had to help me to the first aid station. I was so embarrassed. Luckily there weren’t too many people down in the arena, but there were plenty watching me have to be helped by 2 people just to walk. I kept apologizing to the EMT and explained what happened. She assured me they had seen much worse! While I’m sure they have, it didn’t make me feel any better.
I proceeded to spend the entire opening act laying on a gurney in the first aid office. It was very bright and cold in there, but at least I could clearly hear the band. I missed the first few Pat Benatar songs (I’d seen her three times before so it wasn’t the end of the world) until I finally felt well enough to rejoin my friends. I managed to enjoy the rest of the concert, although much more subdued than usual. I will never again drink wine and follow it up with a margarita, or any hard liquor for that matter. Once is a fluke, twice is a warning.
Tucson is blessed with a number of really good bands, and countless great musicians. I have a large group of friends that go out for the same bands so I see many of the same people when I go out for live music. It doesn’t lend itself well to meeting new people, and definitely not new men. Most of the time.
One day in late February I was at my favorite place for live music (shout out to the Hut on 4th Avenue). The bands almost always play outside, as they were that day, and many people bring their dogs. I looked over at a table and there sat 4 people: a man I know I’ve seen around but did not actually know, and 3 other people I don’t recall seeing before. One was a woman with a large standard poodle, and 2 other men. One of those men was very handsome! He looked my way and I thought I saw an attraction there, so I decided I was going to meet the poodle, yeah, the poodle. That’s it.
I walked over to the table and I asked the woman if I could pet her dog, and conversation ensued. I sat down and joined them. It was a good conversation amongst all of us. I learned their names including the dog. I will call tall and handsome man Doug. After a little while I got up to go dance to a favorite song. As I got up Doug said “let me know if you want to dance.” It didn’t really register with me until about 15 minutes later. I’m not used to dancing with someone in particular, I’m usually just dancing in the vicinity of friends. When it dawned on me that I had totally ignored his invitation, I turned to go back to their table but they had already left. Damn it!
A few weeks later I saw the woman, her husband and her dog at the same place. No Doug. So I explained what happened and she laughed and said that Doug had wondered if I was even interested. I assured her I was. Months went by and I hadn’t seen him again, then surpise! He showed up at a totally different venue with the husband of the woman with the poodle. When I saw Doug I went right up to him and told him how happy I was to see him and gave him a big hug. A friend I was with went with me to a table and we talked with Doug and his friend for a while. Amongst other things, he told me I have nice shoulders. That’s a compliment I’ve never heard before! And he’s right, I actually do have nice shoulders. After a while, me and my friend went back to where the band was playing and I thought I’d see Doug a little later, but I couldn’t find him. He had left. Bummer. Who knew when I’d see him again.
A month or so later he showed up at the place we originally met. We greeted each other and went to a less crowded area to talk. I asked a friend to come with me. For some reason I didn’t want to be totally alone with him. I started to feel what I can only describe as odd. I didn’t really know anything about Doug and my brain didn’t seem to want to work so my friend was asking the questions I should have asked: what do you do for work, do you have kids, etc. Basic things we somehow hadn’t gotten around to yet. I continued to feel odd. I told him I needed to get back to my friends and went to go sit with them.
I really did not feel well. My stomach was very upset, I was light headed, and got unbelievably tired to the point where I thought I could fall asleep in the middle of the bar with a loud band playing. I eventually started to feel better. Another friend was talking to Doug, and she assured me that he was interested in me. A little later I looked for him, but again he had already left. Huh. Well okay then. He can’t be that interested if he’s not even going to ask how to get in touch with me after seeing me three times.
Another month or so passed and there he was again at the Hut. I again gave him a smile and a hug. I sat with him and we talked. He again complimented my shoulders. At one point he asked if I snore. He seemed interested. Then a wave of the same freaky feeling as last time hit me. Upset stomach and an unbelievable desire to just close my eyes and sleep for a while. I told him I didn’t expect him to be there and that I didn’t want to ignore him, but I wanted to spend time with my friends. So I got up and went to hang with them. I had hoped to re-engage with him before he left, but no. Yet again he left without telling me or asking how to get in touch with me. He’s never asked for my last name, social media, phone number, anything. Apparently he’s not that interested.
As I reviewed the situation later I realized that my odd physical reaction to him was probably not a fluke. There’s something not quite right there. I’m pretty sure that if I’m lucky enough to have a “man I’m supposed to be with” he’s going to give me butterflies in my stomach, and not nausea and narcolepsy. The whole thing was just weird. Once is a fluke, twice is a warning.
I did however make friends with the people he was with when I first met Doug. All three are wonderful people to visit with, and the giant poodle is great too! So it definitely wasn’t a total loss. I feel like I probably got the best of that situation.
I’ve been married twice. My first husband was born on August 6th and is 8 years older than me. My second husband was born on August 6th and is 8 years younger than me. Yes, I know that’s very odd, which I did realize at the time, but they were totally different people. My 2nd husband is from an entirely different country for god’s sake! Ultimately, clearly neither marriage worked. Sadly, 3 decades later and my first husband still hates me and likely will until the day he dies. Luckily, my second husband and I separated before it got too bad and I’m very thankful to have him now as one of my best friends. Additionally, one of my worst heartbreaks was a man whose birthday is August 5th. Since then I refuse to date anyone born on or immediately around August 6th. To be fair, I haven’t been interested since then in an available man born around that date and I plan on keeping it that way. Once is a fluke, twice is a warning.