Odds and Ends

I thought I’d update you on the latest happenings or not happenings in my dating world. It’s been a little while since my last post. Re-reading the last one might be prudent!

After a few video chats Mr. Italy and I decided to meet. Please don’t get all bent out of shape. It was months ago so I know it turned out okay. It wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but the bottom line was I didn’t want to waste time chatting with someone who I don’t enjoy kissing. Kissing is important to me, and if we don’t kiss well together then there’s no point.

So we met at a courtyard of shops and restaurants near his apartment. He resembled his pictures more on video chat than he did in person. He’s quite a bit older than in his pics. Surprise surpise, someone I met online doesn’t look like his pictures. No biggie, he’s still attractive. We sat down and I felt like I was almost immediately under inspection. Of course I look at a man, what he’s wearing, his hair, eyes, body, etc. Mr. Italy however was checking me out from head to toe, literally. Hair, clothes, boobs, weight and waistline, butt, legs, even my toenails. Looked me up and down and made approving sounds like I passed inspection.

I already knew that physical appearance is important to him (of course it’s important to lots of people, me included, to a degree anyhow) and he is weight conscious. He once asked where I gain weight 1st. I told him all over, but really – like many women my age (53) – I carry it in my midsection. Additionally, my weight fluctuates 5 lbs either way. That may not sound like much, but I’m short (5’5″) and somewhat petite so weight fluctuations are typically noticeable. If I dated him I think I would be very self conscious about my weight. He says he doesn’t have a lot of body hair and doesn’t particularly like hairy women. I was blessed with beautiful and thick hair. Along with my nice thick head of hair comes rather thick body hair. It’s something I’ve never liked and I’m self-conscious about enough as it is. I think it would constantly be on my mind when I’m with him.

Mr. Italy talks a lot about brand named clothes and shoes, but insists labels are not important to him. He made sure I knew his shoes were Gucci then said “but I don’t care about that.” I don’t have a problem with people liking high end designer items. Many times it’s a higher quality. Some people like the status. Nothing wrong with that either. I don’t mind Mr. Italy liking labels. I mind him bringing it up often and saying it’s not important to him. He talked about it in our video and phone chats as well as in our in person meeting. Just admit it dude.

After my inspection and some conversation, Mr. Italy wanted to kiss. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too enthusiastic about it and I didn’t really know why. So we kissed. That’s why. He is not a good kisser, he’s all teeth – I felt like I was kissing his teeth. He did not feel the same. He loved kissing me wanted to do it again. I thought maybe just 1 kiss wasn’t enough so we kissed again. Same thing. We chatted a little while longer and then I said I had to go. He walked me to my car. We exchanged a few texts after that day, but I had no interest in seeing him again.


I’m no longer chatting with Venice dude. He didn’t really want to get to know me. He somehow wanted to have sex with me. 6000 miles away. How’s that supposed to work? I’m not really sure what I expected from meeting a man online who lives in another country. I guess I thought we’d just message each other once in a while, maybe video chat or talk on the phone. I’m assuming he wanted sex via video chat. Seriously? Why on Earth would I bother with that? Maybe if I had a significant other who was out of town for a while, but video sex with a stranger in another country? No thanks.

For about a week I had great chats with a local man. His profile says he’s semi-retired, but he’s in his 50’s. So I asked him if in his spare time does he do things like: rescue puppies from burning buildings? Teach physics to genius kindergarteners? And something else superhero related that I can’t remember. I should have copied and kept our chats because he played along beautifully with the superhero theme without skipping a beat. We chatted for a few days, moving on from our superhero scenario and he was equally witty.

The day we were going to do a video chat I asked him if he is a current trump supporter. I’ll excuse anyone who voted for trump in good faith, even supported him to a point then realized what a disaster he is, but anyone who still supports him doesn’t share my values. You guessed it, he’s a trump supporter and thinks he’s doing a great job. Heavy sigh. I told him that’s too bad and wished him well. He was witty and attractive in his pictures (as we now know that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what he actually looks like) and seemed intelligent and well rounded. Disappointing. I ask sooner now in order to not waste my time.

I started chatting with a man in the Phoenix area. If you are not familiar with Arizona, it’s about an hour drive between Tucson and Phoenix. Those of you who’ve lived in places like California or the NY tri-state area may be thinking that an hour drive is nothing. I suppose it’s all relative because here it’s a dauntingly long drive that makes dating someone in the other city unlikely unless it’s someone amazing. I suppose if there was high speed rail between the two it would be easier. Would it really be a Robbye post without at least one digression? I think not… Anyhow, in his pictures he’s very attractive. We chatted a little, then he wanted my email address so he could send pics to “show you more of me.” Uh… no. I declined the anticipated dick pics.

I consider Boston my second home. I have family and friends in New England and I visit as often as I can. On a whim, I set up Tinder to look for men in Boston. The response in a very short period of time was almost overwhelming. The Boston area is much larger than the greater Tucson area, so I imagine there’s just a lot more men there on Tinder. Keep in mind my Tinder page shows my location and how far away I am. A surprising number of men who expressed interest in me have in their profile that they’re looking for some version of just sex. Some want friends with benefits (FWB), some are into particular fetishes or roles, some are in open relationships, and a few want to cheat. How in the hell is that supposed to work two thousand miles away? It doesn’t say anywhere in my profile that I visit Boston often. I just don’t understand why they would even bother contacting me.

There’s a man that I see fairly frequently when one or both of us are walking our dogs in our neighborhood. He is hot. His body is slammin’ and he’s a cutie patootie. Before you get all excited, he’s got a GF. Anyhow, one day I’m out in front of my house doing yard work and he walks by with his dog. I’ve known where he lives because I’ve seen him doing yard work at his house a few blocks away, but he’s never known where I live. So he stops to talk for a few moments and I’m acutely aware that I look awful. Ill fitting yard work clothes, all dirty and sweaty, hair just hanging down. Not even a stitch of mascara on. Not that it matters… but better to look good than to not.

I had never seen his girlfriend until a few weeks after he walked by my house. They were walking their dogs. He and I sometimes stop and have a short chat, sometimes we just say good morning with a smile. That morning we just said hello with a smile. His girlfriend was another mattter. She didn’t even acknowledge my presence, didn’t look at me, smile, nod, anything. She just had a sour look on her face and continued to walk on by. She’s a very cute blonde and likely decades younger than me, she couldn’t possibly see me as any kind of threat. Maybe she’s nice most of the time. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she was in a hurry. Maybe she had a lot on her mind. She’s very skinny so maybe she was hungry.

In my next post “ghost me once shame on you, ghost me twice shame on me” will be explained. Some deets on one of the men I met in person. I won’t give any details about him that would lead anyone to know who he is (except the 4 other people who already know who he is). He’s given up the right to not appear in my blog. Maybe you’d like to know exactly why….