Connections on the few dating sites I’m still on are getting harder to find. As you can imagine, after 6 months of viewing profiles there just aren’t enough new men to increase the odds I’ll make a connection. I’ve also pared it down to two sites which doesn’t help the odds.
At it’s peak, I was paying for 4 sites: Zoosk, Silver Singles (for people 50 and older), Plenty of Fish, and Match. I made some connections on Zoosk, but not enough to continue to pay for it. What you can do for free on Zoosk is very limited. After weeks of frustration with the free version I deleted my profile. I paid for 4 months of Silver Singles. A complete waste of time and money. Most of my matches were outside of Tucson, some as far as California, New Mexico and Texas. I did not make a single connection in 4 months. I deleted that account as well. I paid for a few months of Plenty of Fish which expired a while ago. I have kept that profile active because it has the most free features.
My 6 month subscription to Match is expiring this month. It is the last remaining site I’ve paid for. Doing a cost/benefit analysis, I’m not sure I want to continue to pay for it. I tried the free version of Eharmony first before deciding if I should pay for the full version. Their free version lets you see profile name and location, but little else including no photos. Too many of my matches were outside of Tucson to make it worth it. I deleted that profile too. I might try OurTime (for people 50 and older). I’m just not sure how much more I want to put into something that yields such poor results. In other words, why in the hell would I want to do this any longer?
Having said all that, I made a connection on Plenty of Fish about a month ago with a 56 year old man who just started teaching as his second career. You may recall a man I went on one date with who I called “Desert Dude,” a play on his profile name. The schoolteacher I connected with has the exact same profile name as the other Desert Dude, just on different sites. Fortunately, the Desert Dudes are not alike as the 1st one was kind of a turd.
I’m going to call the schoolteacher “Dan.” We chatted online a little over a period of days and decided to meet. Between his schedule and mine, it took more than a week to find a mutual time that would work. Dan participates in something called a Men’s Circle. I looked it up. Feel free to do the same. He had about an hour and a half between school and the Circle, so that’s when we met, at a place called Lodge on the Desert. It’s an historic boutique hotel and restaurant. We kept in touch by messaging every few days to confirm and reconfirm the day and time.
I have given up talking on the phone before I meet someone. I’m not sure why it’s not so important now. Some of the men seem reluctant to do so, perhaps because many of the men I’ve met for a date have a lisp to one degree or another. Not sure what’s up with that. In regards to meeting Dan, my tummy and back weren’t giving me any warnings. Just the usual anxiety of meeting someone new.
Although I am a Tucson native, and I know exactly where it is, I’ve never actually been to Lodge on the Desert. I wasn’t sure where we were supposed to meet, in the lobby or at the bar outside the restaurant so I hung out by my car until he got there. I look pretty much exactly the same as I do in my pictures so he recognized me when he pulled in. I swear every man I’ve met online and had a date with has a white pickup truck including Dan. Only one had anything different, and that was a white SUV (the other Desert Dude). Not sure what’s up with that either.
We made our way to the bar. We ordered drinks and apps. I had wine, Dan had iced tea. The participants in the Men’s Circle have committed to being sober during the weekly meeting, so he didn’t have the beer he assured me he would typically have. I certainly don’t require a man who drinks as long as they are okay with me drinking. Dan was just making clear he does imbibe. The conversation flowed smoothly. He’s cute, has pretty eyes, and is a thoughtful man with a variety of interesting life experiences. It was actually a 2-way conversation, unlike my dinner with the first Desert Dude. It was clear in our conversation we both would like a second date. We said things like “I’ll tell you that story another time.” As we left we hugged, but did not kiss.
Later that night he messaged me how much he enjoyed our date and his hope we can arrange a second one soon. I replied along the same vein. We ended up making a date the following week for dinner at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants. I’ll let you know how it went.