“Joe” and I indeed decided to have a 2nd date, but scheduling proved difficult. My best friend and two close friends were in town from Boston for a wedding we were all attending. Usually the out-of-town guests attend the rehearsal dinner. I figured that would leave me 2-3 free hours for a date with Joe. It turns out only my BFF was attending the rehearsal dinner ’cause he’s actual blood family which left me time with my other 2 friends. It did not leave me time for a date with Joe. We had to reschedule. He was very understanding. We rescheduled for Sunday evening, two nights later.
Mexico celebrates “Dia de los Muertos,” or “Day of the Dead” the day after Halloween. Usually the first Sunday after Halloween Tucson has it’s own version of the observance of Dia de los Muertos when we hold a parade called the All Souls Procession. Most people walking in the parade and even some spectators dress up in different costumes and face paint. Many have remembrances of those who have passed, pictures mostly, but some have more elaborate small floats and such to honor one or more individuals. Joe and I were going to go watch the procession which starts around dusk (530-6pm). That Sunday I spent the day with my BFF and his family and our friends at his nephews’ house. By the time Joe called (3:30 PM) to arrange to meet, the carne asada and pollo asada were just about done on the grill. I don’t get to see my friends and my BFF and his family very often, and I am currently obsessed with carne asada. I really didn’t want to leave yet. It was Joe who suggested another reschedule. At least I know he’s flexible and understanding. We finally scheduled a hike and dinner on the following Thursday.
In light of what the musician taught me about trusting my body to tell me what’s right, you may be wondering what my body was telling me about Joe. Other than the usual 1st date jitters and 2nd date anxiety about where we were going (because it was unfamiliar), my body wasn’t telling me anything. No upset tummy, no back pain which I’ve learned is usually a good sign.
Date day arrives. My biggest concern was finding a cute outfit I could hike in and easily make appropriate for dinner out. I decided if I was okay going hiking alone with him, it would probably be okay for him to know where I live and he could pick me up. My close friends will tell you I am not a good housekeeper. Over the last few months I have made an effort to keep the common areas neat and somewhat clean – Tucson has a lot of dust, it’s almost a losing battle. The problem keeping my house neat comes when I’m working on a project. In this case post-Halloween costume and decoration stuff was strewn about the house. I did not intend for Joe to come inside, but I was running late feeding the dogs and couldn’t just leave him sitting outside. I was a little embarrassed about the clutter. I apologized for the mess, fed the dogs and we left.
I admit I found him better looking on our 1st date, and thus far I enjoyed our 1st date conversation more than I was enjoying our 2nd date conversation. We arrived at the trailhead and set out on our hike, talking as we walked. The conversation was getting better. We found a spot to sit and watch the sunset. He brought some white wine that was actually pretty good. We sipped, talked, and watched the sun go down. Before it got too dark we headed back. We were hiking in the foothills on the north side of Tucson, and we made our way to a Mexican food restaurant nearby. The weather was nice enough to sit outside. More conversation, good food, and margaritas. I don’t think I should have had all of that margarita. It was a large margarita. I think I over shared with Joe. It wouldn’t be the 1st time. I really need to remember to limit my alcohol consumption when out with someone new.
When we were leaving we finally kissed. He’s a pretty good kisser. He has a vandyke (it’s the facial hair most people incorrectly call a goatee. A goatee is just the chin beard part. The vandyke has the chin beard with a mustache and they are connected around the mouth). It’s not soft, instead it’s pretty scratchy and stiff which I don’t like, but it’s not a dealbreaker. In my Mexican food and margarita fed mind, I agreed a 3rd date would be great.
It’s now 5 days since the date with Joe and I realize I have no burning desire to see him or even talk to him. He’s a nice man with beautiful eyes, but I don’t feel any spark with him. Joe is not smart enough for me. I have mentioned this before with other men. As a reminder, I don’t expect an Einstein. I am not an Einstein. The gulf between Joe and I is pretty vast. Our lives took very different paths. He followed a creative path away from education. I did not. We have very different life experiences.
Perhaps most concerning, Joe doesn’t like sports. Any of them. None. He doesn’t watch them on TV or in person. Not football, basketball, tennis, ice dancing, rhythmic gymnastics, curling, badminton. Nothing. He doesn’t even like to go to a baseball game and enjoy some adult beverages. Who doesn’t like that? I at least need someone who’d drive up to Phoenix for a Diamondbacks game and get me a margarita. He said he prefers to participate instead of watching. Um, no. In case it isn’t obvious, we won’t be having a 3rd date. I think it’s safe to say he feels the same because I haven’t heard from him.