This does get better, right?

Online dating day 2 was worse than day 1, and that’s saying something. Day 3 was a little better, so there’s that. Don’t get me wrong, there are attractive or interesting men on Match with whom there is mutual interest. Here’s the 1st problem: most of them are in Phoenix. I hate Phoenix. It’s wannabe L.A. without the beach, hotter than any human should have to endure, and it’s an hour and a half away. That probably sounds normal to people living in the L.A. or the Tri-state area, but here’s it’s not normal to drive an hour and a half to see someone. So unless they like to drive, that’s not going to work. 2nd problem: most of the men I’m interested in aren’t reciprocating. I’ve had plenty of interest from men I wouldn’t date if they paid me, men who didn’t read my profile and are hard core trumpers, men who think “hello pretty,” or something equally as banal would attract my attention.

It’s now been about a week, and so far I’ve only been on Match. I decided to start on Match because my twin brother met his amazing wife there, and I have several other acquaintances who have met their spouses there. It’s becoming clear to me that after a week of looking at so many pictures of men they are starting to blur together, there isn’t enough choice for me in Tucson on just 1 site. There might be a million people in the greater Tucson area, but that doesn’t mean there are a million quality men. The pool of available men online with whom there is mutual interest is much like the pool of available men in person with whom there is mutual interest – slim pickings. The pool of people in Tucson on Match is so small, there isn’t enough interest to hold events for people to meet. I’d have to go to Phoenix. That doesn’t do me any good. I have friends who met on Plenty of Fish so that is my next stop.

Maiden Voyage

I was hoping to have a profound or witty introduction for my 1st blog post. Hope has been abandoned. Hello, my name is Robbye. That weird spelling? My mother did that to me. Thanks mom.

At age 52, I’ve found myself single and dating in the traditional sense for the 1st time in my life. I’m one of those women who pretty much always had a boyfriend or husband at any given time. The longest I was ever single was 6 months. 3 years ago, I left my boyfriend who was an emotionally abusive alcoholic that cost me about $10,000, $10k I didn’t have to lose. I stayed single on purpose for 2 years. During that time I had no lack of interest from men, but I really had no interest in them. 9 months ago, I finally found someone I wanted to date, and realized I was ready. And now that I’m ready to date, of course I am having a very difficult time finding available men my age in which there is mutual interest. That man I wanted to date? Turns out he isn’t relationship material. He has however remained in my life, which I will save for another post. Having been unable to find a man to date in all the places I’m told I can find one – the grocery store, out enjoying my favourite band (I like the British spelling. Don’t @ me), at the dog park – I have reluctantly entered the foray of online dating.

I’ve started with Match. I know several couples who have met on Match. Scrolling through the profiles of man after man after man: Nope .… nope .… aw hell no .… seriously?…. Hmmm, he looks interesting, I’ll express an interest in him (you can do the equivalent of “like” or “hello” or send a message to show interest)..… nope ..… nope ..… and so on. Maybe 1 out of 10 I find I want to talk to. That doesn’t mean any of them will express an interest back. Of those who have so far, some obviously didn’t read my profile because it expressly says if they are a current, avid MAGA hat wearing trump supporter, they need to move on to the next profile. One of them wanted to argue with me about why trump is a GOOD president (yes, “good” in all caps), another responded to my reply to his message with “sorry, trump supporter.”

Likely because I am a new person on Match, and attractive (I’ve been a solid 7 much of my life, but not gorgeous by any means) I’ve received a ton of interest. Going through the messages was pretty much the same as me going through pages and pages of profiles: nope ….. nope ..… aw hell no ..… seriously? ….. Hmmm ..… You get the idea. I’ve seen profiles of 2 men I’m acquainted with. They both lied about their height. Why would you lie about something that would be immediately obvious should you meet?

1 day into this and all I can say is “oof.” So, the search continues.